The True Purpose Of Money

sky for blogI’ve stated before that money buys you time so you can have meaningful experiences.  On December 4th I asked What Life Would You Live If You Had Only Five Years To Live? I wrote about my brother in law’s battle with cancer (my sister’s husband)  and his prognosis of five years, it’s with a heavy heart that I wish that he had those years.

My sister’s finances are very much different than mine, she always had a YOLO attitude towards money.  They went on fabulous vacations,had nice clothes and memorable experiences.  A year ago when I was hanging out with my brother in law he shared with me his long term goal was to eventually move back to Hawaii (they left 15 years ago) buy a small condo and retire with my sister.

Her favorite memories of her husband were not all the great places they went to, but of the two hour drive into the country.  Of family dinners with all of my cousins who made him feel welcome as a valued family member.  Of spending time during errands together for the business that they own.   The simplest things in life are often the most wonderful. 

My Borther in Law did these things right:
He had a will:  Clearly laid out who gets what so that there are no disagreements or fighting over assets.

He had an Advanced Health Care Directive that made his intentions known: I admire my sister’s courage when it came to making decisi0ns for his care.  My Brother in Law and my wife share the same opinion when it comes to terminal care, I wouldn’t know if I could make the right decisions my sister made. My selfishness would want to hold on to my wife for weeks, even if it meant going against her wishes.

He had life insurance: This is his way of getting that home for my sister back in Hawaii.  Any reader who has anyone that relies on them (spouse,children,parents etc.) it is idiotic not to get term insurance.

In the end it’s not going to matter how much you made, what kind of fancy car you drive, what places you have seen, the only thing that matters is the time you spend with your loved ones experiencing life with them.

Rest in peace brother James,God has your back now.


  1. Steven lau says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your brother in law. When I’m not working I prioritize time with my kids as they grow up so fast.

  2. So very, very sorry to hear about your brother-in-law, Charles. :-( Many, many hugs to you and your family.
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  3. Charles,
    My condolences go out to your family. Thanks for sharing this story at a difficult time.
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  4. So sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. It is so unfair that some people never get the chance to live out their lives. He is definitely resting in peace now.
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  5. I’m sorry to hear this. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
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  6. I’m so sorry for your loss! As I get older I try to recognize more and more how life is fleeting. I lost a very close friend when she was 40 and it really was a wake up call for me that people and relationships with those people is far more valuable than anything. My thoughts go out to your sister and the rest of you friends and family!
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  7. Wow, I hate hearing this! But I do appreciate the reminder to reset priorities and enjoy the journey along the way.
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  8. I’m so sorry man :(

  9. So sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. Praying for your sister and family in this time.
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  10. I’m so sorry to read this about your brother in law Charles. It sounds as though your sister is a very strong person and that your brother in law was too, making sure that his affairs were in order like that.

    What is money at the end of the day? Nothing compared to time and memories. Thinking of you and your family.
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  11. Oh Charles. I’m so very sorry for your sister and all of your family at this time. It sounds like your sister has some wonderful memories of time spent together.
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  12. I’m saddened by the passing of your bother in law. It sounds like he had it together when it came to finances and insurance. He put his Ohana first. God speed.
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  13. I’m sorry for your loss, Charles. Will be thinking of you and your sister.
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  14. Man, that is so sad. Hope your sister and the family can heal together. We gotta live our lives in the now.
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  15. So sorry for your loss Charles. This was beautifully written, and spot on. It’s about time together and the relationships you build. Money just allows you to do the things you want. Take care friend.
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  16. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. I often find great peace in the simplest of moments- eating dinner and watching Netflix in bed. But the big trips can be pretty spectacular too.
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  17. Sorry for the loss. My daughter just turned 2 and this summer I’m planning a mini-backpacking trip with her. Minimal cost – hopefully high in memories together.
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  18. I am so sorry for your loss. Every time I think about loved ones I have lost, the memories have very little to do with material goods. Except the big house my grandparents had so we could all get together around a big meal. But if they were broke they could have done a big picnic in a park for the same result.
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  19. I love your ability to be so introspective about this time. I’m not sure I could be. But your points are dead on….it’s frustrating to see people put off buying life insurance, getting a will, handling things….
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  20. No real words. I’m so sorry. I think you’re absolutely right about the insurance. We never know when it’s going to be our time, but at least we can be prepared and leave this world with our families taken care of.
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